sweet little chicken monkey

I'm in love. In love with a younger man. Shocking confession, I know, but I just can't resist his chubby little cheeks and sweet juicy little lips. Part of my heart now lives with him, 800 miles away. Oh my sweet little buby, your aunt sure does love you.

PS: Don't worry if the title makes no sense to you...it probably wouldn't unless you were in the room with my sister and I as we laughed hysterically at our delirious baby nickname ramblings.

sneaky monsters & old photographs

Mourning can be a very sneaky monster.

It's been three years since the fire that put my dad in the hospital, robbed us of our family home, and took the life of my beloved Scout. [If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, you can read about it here.]

I never really considered mourning the loss of a home. Certainly I had thought about mourning the loss of a pet, but I could have never imagined the depths of grief I would experience after the losing Scout and our Honeysuckle home. It's been three years, and though the wounds aren't raw anymore they are very much a part of me, wounds I feel may forever scar my heart. Three years later, this is what mourning looks like.

I still have dreams set at the Honeysuckle house. This phenomenon started happening about 10 months after the fire, and initially occurred at an alarming rate of five to seven times a week. Usually they have nothing to do with the house or the fire, it's just the setting.

I think of Scout often. Sometimes her name tries to come out when I call for Lucy or Latch (most especially that recent blonde addition). And though time has passed and the hole left in my heart has gotten smaller, I still miss her dearly.

The memory of dad on the ventilator is something that hasn't gotten much more bearable with time. It is a picture that still causes me to reach to God for support. Dad is fine. He's more than fine, actually. He's really great. There's just something about that first moment when I saw him hooked up to the machines fighting for his life, my mom at my side, my siblings not yet able to be there, feeling so very small and helpless...three years later that memory can break my heart all over again.

The conversation with GerRee. I remember looking at my feet, walking down the hallway, making my way outside, and trying to figure out how I was going to have that conversation with my sister. The one where I told her Dad was in the Parkland ICU Burn Unit and our family home had burned. The one where I tried not to freak her out and give her as many details as I could but I couldn't make my mind stop racing. The one where I would break my sister's heart. I remember getting to a place where I was sort of lost trying to relay information and just stopped. I didn't know what to say next. With very slow and deliberate speech, GerRee said "I need you to tell me the condition of our father." My feelings surrounding that conversation still make me squeeze my sister a little tighter every time I see her, and wish I could snuggle up to her and hold her hand more often. My sister. My heart.

Shortly after the fire, we also lost Bonnie. Somehow this gets thrown into the the big ol' mess of loss surrounding the fire. I guess because it sort of became a year of loss, the way things seemed to drag out. And that sweet, sweet family dog was very dear to all of us, most especially my dad. Bonnie's passing marked another sorrow in a year of so many ups and downs.

Writing about so much of this for the first time makes me realize I probably should have started a long time ago. I suppose it's been pretty cathartic to finally put some "pen to paper". But I certainly don't want to leave you with the impression that I'm some walking ball of grief 24/7. Like I said, mourning can be a sneaky monster, sometimes springing from nowhere. Sometimes springing from what would otherwise be pleasant memories, as was the case today. It's been three years, and even though there is still a fair amount of heartache, there is much more happiness. Our family has so much to be thankful for, and I am blessed to belong to a family that recognizes and appreciates that fact.

To conclude this kind of a downer post [so sorry], I will leave you with really cute photos I have close by. That'll make up for it, right?!

happy birthday, daddio!

This is me and my daddy. (Please forgive the terrible quality–It's rather difficult to focus your camera phone when you can't see the screen and are just hoping to hit the right button)

 

He's my favorite dad. It's a coveted role, and he fills it really well.

On Sunday, we celebrated his birthday at our house with a small cookout. He made potato salad and I made cupcakes. Potato salad and cupcakes...yummmm...

 

 

 

 

 

 

His super cute girlfriend came with him, and they stayed at the house until it was time to leave for his birthday concert. We have a tradition of renting theater space and getting the entire family together to perform various musical acts for special birthdays. My sister even flew in from Colorado. Just kidding, there were no familial performing arts of any kind on Sunday. And we've never rented out space to be nutty, my aunt's living room is perfect for that. In reality, Daddy's girlfriend took him to a concert in Dallas. And there were no family members on stage. (As far as I know)

and one more makes three

I want to take a minute to talk about my babies. Because I love them. And they make me laugh. So you can just get cozy and prepare yourself for more information than you ever cared to know. Let's go oldest to youngest because that just makes sense.

Leo

In one word: diva

King Leo is our Bengal cat. We just call him Leo. I stripped him of his title after we got him home and he became a royal pain in the neck. Boyfriend and I were still apartment dwellers when we bought Leo (on sale from the Humane Society). He is the only baby we paid for, and he's proven to be the most destructive. Here's the deal. Leo pees. Where.Ever.He.Wants. Carpet. Piles of clothes. Towels. Beds. Chairs. Couches. It's much better now that we live in a home with hardwood floors, but he still manages to find "soft" spots to soil from time to time. I would insist he live outside, but whoever owned him before had him declawed on all four paws! The poor thing just can't live outdoors. So, he stays with us.

I'm sure it sounds crazy to keep him as a part of our family. And that's why I'm not asking for your opinion. Maybe it is crazy. But we love him. Despite his tendency to use the entire house as his litter box, he's just about the sweetest thing you've ever known. He cuddles CONSTANTLY. In bed. On the couch. In the recliner. Even when we're up and moving around, he's usually nearby. And he really, really wants to live outside. It's almost heart breaking to watch to him whine at the window while his sisters enjoy the outdoors. Leo can also be quite humorous to watch. He tends to sit in awkward positions, run around the house chasing Lucy while his big ol' belly swings from side to side, and always wants to play with the water while anyone is showering. Leo has a strange fascination with cups of water and I've heard him mimic bird noises while watching them fly around on the other side of our big picture window.

Lucy

In one word: princess

Our family grew again just a few months later when we found Lucy at a local elementary school. She was about 4 months old and 35 pounds. At her first visit to the vet, we were told she was mixed with Great Pyrenees and we should expect her to grow to over 100 pounds! Lucy Jo is now 2 and 1/2 and is no where near 100 pounds. In fact, at her check-up yesterday, she weighed in at 72 pounds.

This girl cracks me up on a daily basis. She's very sweet and is very jealous when it come to me and Boyfriend. She likes to worm her way between us if we're cuddling, which can be somewhat uncomfortable with a 70 pound dog. Some of her favorite things to do include: chasing squirrels, swimming at her bff Gordon's house, putting Leo's head in her mouth, getting her belly rubbed, chasing squirrels, begging for treats [which I discourage], hanging out with Lila, and chasing squirrels.

Latch

In one word: rascal

The newest member of our family is 8 week old Latch. Ryon wanted to call her Barn Dog because that's where she was living before she came home with us. I vetoed that. Though, I think he calls her that in secret. We haven't even had her a week yet, and she's a bitty baby, so her personality is still developing, but I have discovered a few things she loves: food, getting her belly rubbed, biting Lucy's tail, food, chasing Leo, and food.

Ps, the sound of the shower puts her right to sleep. It's amazing.

I'm positive I have more to say about our babies, but I'll spare you. I will however make it my mission to video a few of their hilarious antics around the house.

puppies and ninjas.

The Easter Bunny loves me. Look what she brought me yesterday!

 

 

 

Ok, so maybe the Easter Bunny didn't bring her so much as I took her from my Aunt and Uncle's barn. By cover of night. Like a ninja. An Easter ninja.

Tour Time!

Hi all! Today we're going on a tour of my brother's new casita. He recently moved in here with his lovely lady and her two kiddos (two of the cutest girls ever! btw...) Don't mind the lack of furniture or paint swatches on the wall–I ran around snapping photos before anyone could shout, "Hey wait! We're not even moved in yet!" For the record, I love this house! The floor plan is perfect...the rooms are nice and large...plenty of storage...and a ton, ton, ton of potential! I'm so excited to see what they'll do with her.

But enough gabbing...take a look for yourself.

future master bedroom
future office
living room
future playroom (was the dining room, but there's plenty of space in the kitchen for that)kitchen w/ dining area
hallway to upstairs bedroom
upstairs bathroom
future kiddos room
So, that's it for now. Aren't you tickled pink with excitement?! There's a small possibility I went overboard with enthusiasm and created mood boards for their house before they even signed the lease. A small possibility. I'll see if I can't find those for your viewing pleasure, and updates will follow as rooms begin to take shape.

14 things on the the 14th

Consider yourself lucky you aren't catching my first draft of this post. Suffice it to say I went on a little rant, got carried away, and completely lost sight of the purpose for this little Valentine's Day entry. Now that that's over...let's move on, shall we?

In the spirit of St. Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share a few things I love. Are you curious to know the focus of my list today? Come on, I'll show you!

14 things I love about Boyfriend:

1. his smile
2. his cute little nose
3. the insane shade of red he turns when he's giggling at It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
4. that he'll eat just about anything I cook, even the experiments gone wrong
5. that he loves, loves, loves his family and mine
6. that he'll let me pick the movie
7. that he loves God so faithfully and passionately
8. that he'll tell me I look nice (when prompted) when I wear skinny jeans, even though he hates them
9. that he participates in love-bubble affections even though he thinks it's weird
10. that he shares his food with me (even when it's obvious he wants all of it)
11. his arse
12. that he sings along to country songs when we're driving
13. his enthusiasm for outdoor adventures (and Hawaii)
14. that he'll get up and feed Lucy when I'm really, really tired (or hungover)

Welp...that's it. Everything I love about Boyfriend in a nutshell. Just kidding! That doesn't nearly cover it...but hey, fourteen is fourteen, right? I do what I can. Here are some extras for anyone who prefers pretty pictures over my type-A list.

he wears boots all the time...even in the snow

he poses for pictures like this in the middle of the thrift store

and this with the duke

and he's really good at catching catfish when all I can seem to hook are carp

AND he takes me out for nice dinners and finds awesome jewelry for my birthday, like this

So, that was my fourteen things (plus a couple). Now I'm off to make a lobster and steak dinner with Boyfriend. Do I have the best sweetheart in the world, or what? No response necessary, I know I do. =)

the big apple

these streets will make you feel brand new

the lights will inspire you
lets here it for New York, New York, New York

It's official. I am headed to New York in less than three weeks. Sixteen days. A little less if you consider that my flight is at 10 in the morning. Actually, in sixteen days (God willing), I'll be in a supershuttle traveling from the airport to GC's work. You see, I'll be meeting her there and once she's off we will begin our girls weekend. (Save the half day she'll put in on Friday while I traipse around her neighborhood keeping an eye out for Ed Westwick.) Then Sunday afternoon, Boyfriend and LM will fly in to meet us. I am so looking forward to spending time with GC, who I haven't seen since 1996! (and that was the only time we've seen each other since 1991, when we wee little 6 year-olds were separated by 800 miles!) That's right ladies and gents, GC and I were kindergarten BFFs and have been keeping in touch for the 20 years since she moved away. ::sniffle:: But alas, we are finally getting together again! And oh what fun it will be to spend time in the city with Boyfriend and LM too! YIPPEEEEEE!!!

So...for any curious minds...this is a general idea of where we'll be. I'll actually be staying with GC and her roomie Thursday-Sunday, then Boyfriend, LM and I will head to a hotel right near Little Italy. Pizza, anyone?

In the spirit of Christmas (it still counts) I'm making a list and checking it twice. Though this list has nothing to do with behavior. The truth is, I'd make a list even if it wasn't the holidays cuz that's how I roll. (I even received Love Listography for Christmas to satisfy my penchant for list-making)

1. Figure out which luggage makes the most sense for me and Boyfriend to take
2. Decide which clothes to take (this will soon become it's own list)
3. Organize travel documents for myself and Boyfriend
(including details for navigating from the airport to Manhattan for Boyfriend,
who is certain he will get lost)
4. Camera (purchase or borrow because mine broke)
5. Book for the plane
6. Pack airline friendly purse and carry-on (more lists!)
7. Find a new pea-coat!
8. Compare "to-see" items with Boyfriend an LM so I can
hold off on certain things they would like to be a part of

That's all for now. But you can be certain I am not done penning checklists.

More to follow. Ciao.

DENVER & other parts

This place deserves its own post. If you squint and look at most things sidesways through your sunglasses, it still posseses all the glamour and swanky stlyings of it original state. However, with open eyes and tinted lenses removed the place is pretty run down. On the upside, the indoor pool with its huge western mural and twenty-five foot skylights is predy-friggin-cool.

This is the hotel's ride.

Ryon's attempt to photograh of a solar car while in a moving vehicle. Ha!

If you've never seen this episode of South Park, not only are you missing out, but you may have no idea of the fabulousness that is Casa Bonita. And if you have been there, well, you understand why I had to make record of our trip there (Ryon's first).

Inside Casa Bonita. Yes, those are pirates.

Wristbands from The UMS. Woot woot! (that was for The UMS, not the wristbands though I was rather fond of the sparkly one.)

Pretty boyfriend looking at Red Rocks.

Cooper & Charlie

This is Bob.

I don't really know what this is. Ryon took this photo. I do know we were at a Colorado Visitor's Center where we received free hats in exchange for our email addresses. Neat-o!

Last but not least, us!