rut.

(fair warning....this was a stream-of-consciousness-get-it-all-journal-entry type thing. that is to say, it's a bit jumpy and might be difficult to follow. so...sorryforya.)

I started this blog on a whim. You've probably never read this, but that's where it all started. Brilliant piece of writing, I know. I wrote sporadically...when an idea hit me...generally on a monthly basis. What I really loved to do was stalk other blogs. I'm in love with YHL, Kendi, and Sydney. I mention them in casual conversation as if they're friends of mine (that's not creepster, right?!). There are a handful of others that I adore, but I keep coming back to those three no matter what. They inspired me to do more. So I did. For a little while. I fancy myself a writer so I thought it'd be easy to keep coming up with wonderful things to write about and I could really let my creative juices flow. You know what? It's not. Life gets in the way. I'm still in a rut if you want to know the truth. I've had writer's block for about nine months. Maybe you just thought I was prego and on a mommy hiatus. I'm not. Nor was I.

What I am is a creator. A crafter, wanna be writer, photographer, designer, jill-of-all-trades. Whether I'm writing, sewing, gluing, cutting, painting–I create. It's what I do. And I've been ignoring that. Don't you do that? You know you're happiest when you eat well, exercise, make time for the things you love...and you just don't do it. I've complied list upon list of thing I want to make, and my lists just keeps getting longer. I've done very little, and I think it's time for that to stop. But here's the thing. My "space" looks like this:

and I'd prefer it look like this:

There are a few things I need to accomplish in this room.

• A general cleaning is in order
• I need space for crafts
• Space for my sewing machine and related projects would be nice
• And of course, space for items from mary&nell

It certainly doesn't sound too hard. Maybe Santa will bring it for Christmas.

I am runner.

So here's the deal. I really, really wanted to get up for the last several months weeks days and run. I encouraged myself every evening chanting, "I want to get up and run. I want to get up and run." Each night I climbed into bed certain that by the time 6:45 reared it's ugly head came about I would hop out of bed and enjoy my morning run with Lucy. This has not happened. What's really the problem with this (besides the obvious that I can't seem to motivate myself to get in better shape)? I will tell you.

October 2 is The Great Urban Race. It's a six-mile scavenger hunt that Tecia and I are signed up for. Two things in that description are very key: #1. Six-mile. This distance when mentioned alone does not frighten me. It is a distance that would take a few minutes by car. Probably a couple hours walking. And if I were trying to complete a six-mile hike/trail, could I do it? Sure! Enter #2. Scavenger Hunt. This means competition. This means we are attempting to finish BEFORE other people. This means I have no hope. At the rate I'm going, which is 0 in case you weren't paying attention to the aforementioned lack of progress, I will be staring at people's backs in no time. Tecia will have to constantly wait on me, and we will lose. Bad. I will probably look something like this:


You may be wondering, "Is this a classic case of an individual struggling with internal conflict?" While I have often pondered the same question, I am pouring my heart out now to tell you it is not. Is it, in fact, the case of an individual struggling with society, with media, with pretty pretty pictures. I present to you Exhibit A:

Okay, okay, I know it's just a woman running, but look at her! She is fit. She is in shape. (look at that bum!) She is enjoying her lovely afternoon jog along an open road in the pretty countryside. Most importantly, she is not losing The Great Urban Race.



And now, the pièce de résistance:


At this point you may be thinking, "Those are just photos. So What?" Well, my friend, photos are very important. They serve as inspiration. In this case, they have inspired me to think I would love the be a runner. However, an inspiring photo is only half the battle. The other half had me at tank top. In addition to suffering the never ending photostream of gorgeous runners, I am also at the mercy of athletic gear. I just love it. Seriously, take a look.

This little top from lululemon is too too cute!

And of course I need knee support running tights.

Vibram Five Fingers...I will make you mine!

Somewhere between registering for The Great Urban Race, coveting runner's bodies, and being in love with running gear I convinced myself not only can I do this, I want to do this. However, it's becoming more and more apparent that I prefer the idea of being a runner.

And has this very recent revelation changed anything? Should I give up on my dream goal delusion of becoming a runner?








Absolutely not.










I am runner.

hello 2010!

My cat stinks. My cat is lying next to me on the bed and he stinks. But he's very sweet, so I may overlook this tiny detail. The stench isn't really that bad...

MTV garbage is playing on TV right now, and I'm completely addicted to it. Jersey Shore is unbelievably moronic. And brilliant. It's akin to watching a train wreck. Or It's Always Sunny, which occasionally hurts to watch but you just can't peel your eyes away—except the people in Jersey Shore are real people. Crazy. Just a few seconds ago this girl Nikki, nicknamed Snooki, said “That's why I don't like eating lobsters-they're like alive when they die.” Umm....yeah.

I have a list on 43things.com. 43things.com is a social networking site where people share goals and hopes. (I ripped that blurb from their website.) My most current list in only comprised of 40 things. They all seem doable...maybe even within this year. Which would be cool...well, ok upon reflection I don't think all the things are quite possible this year. But a lot of them are. I think my goal will not be to push myself to complete all forty but to see how many I can accomplish this year. Here is the list:

1. get a tattoo
2. visit machu pichu
3. raft the grand canyon
4. go backpacking
5. go whale-watching
6. learn web design
7. trace my family tree
8. paint
9. take voice lessons
10. learn to knit
11. learn ballroom dancing
12. complete a sudoku puzzle in under 5 minutes
13. learn to play guitar
14. learn to read palms
15. go to graduate school
16. play soccer again
17. run a marathon
18. be in a movie
19. make a difference
20. take an improv class
21. take a cooking class
22. live in another country
23. pay off debt
24. learn russian
25. learn to fly
26. eat healthier
27. exercise regularly
28. write a book
29. speak spanish fluently
30. live in another country
31. visit the sydney opera house
32. travel to asia
33. visit all 50 states
34. take a road trip across the united states
35. learn pointe
36. take ballet again
37. design a t-shirt
38. travel to europe
39. take a photography class
40. learn to box

Only one item on my list is incredibly vague. And there are things missing. But I will add more to-dos when I cross others off. So...looks pretty good!